When I lived in Philly one summer, I would take the train from Chestnut Hill into the city, which was about 30 minutes, and I would read my tiny little pocket size Websters Dictionary the whole way, paging through for words I didn’t know so I could learn them.
I would get a lot of looks from the other travelers and I didn’t care. Sometimes I would be visibly excited about the new word I had introduced myself to. It was another set of words to incorporate into my life, to use to better paint the picture of the stories I wanted to tell. It was more tools in my tool bag.
It’s so important the language we use. Not just with other people, but with ourselves. It’s beyond what thoughts you think, becuz as we know, our thoughts create our reality, but it’s the WORDS we use and the WAY we talk to ourselves that makes such a difference.
Words are among my favorite things. I LOVE words. I love to hear them, I love to say them, I love to think about them and what they mean. I love to toss and turn them around in my brain, to break them down and decipher them, to put their little feet to work on painting pictures in my life. They are so important.
Over the years, there are several words and phrases that I have personally eliminated from my life and find it to be so much lighter.
I grew up in a home that struggled financially and seeing that and feeling that as an empath, I allowed myself to pick up panic and scarcity surrounding money, which has taken years to overcome.
But one of the best things I did years ago was eliminate a few negative key phrases that only serve to fuel those emotions that don’t serve us.
1- “I’m so broke/We’re broke.” We don’t have the money for that.
(This was a common one.)
Get this out of your life immediately.
YOU are not broke. You are not what is in your bank account. And how are you going to attract the energies to start flowing abundance into your life with this statement? It is not by putting out that mess of negativity. I don’t say this to sweat you.
2 – “I can’t afford it.”
Oh my gosh. This is garbage. You are teaching your brain to say shit that isn’t true. The problem is if we continue to say and drill into our brains these thoughts that vibrate at a low level, we start running that pathway through our brains and it becomes harder to pop out of.
Becuz if you had to afford something, you would find a way to, wouldn’t you? We always do. But the way we speak trains our brains to accept that lie and then we take that falsity as actual fact when it is bullshit.
How to shift into better language
I’ve found a few better ways to say things are “That’s not in our budget right now.” or to have my kids hear me say “I don’t really want to pay for xyz right now becuz then I will have to decrease xyz.” Having them hear me make conscious choices regarding money and how we are being deliberate with it. Intentionally choosing the words we are crafting our lives with.
Becuz it all matters. It matters!
A wonderful message – one of about a million – I have learned from Wayne Dyer is to say or think the words ‘Thank you’ as soon as your little feet hit the floor in the morning. Being grateful changes really everything and having that on your heart first thing does help shape your day and shed the light of all that there is to be grateful for.
Another wonderful teacher is Louise Hay, who is just the master at using words to create a beautiful life. It’s not just thinking this or that, it’s saying it out loud and bringing life to it, breathing energy to what you want to create. Feeling it in your cells, just the way you imagine it having when you have the love, the health, the cash, the promotion, the family, etc. And saying it in a way that pulls that energy toward you.
Danielle Laporte says when you use affirmations that aren’t true – like saying I am well, when you are not in fact well, can also lend itself to your brain realizing you are full of shit. Then it doesn’t trust your lying ass.
So it can be a little dance of sorts but the important thing is to be conscious of your thoughts. Whether you choose to tell yourself things like I am a multimillionaire – even if you are not one yet – your brain starts to get that message. It starts to mull that shit over. It starts to make space for that possibility.
Or you can choose to say something like, I trust in my abilities to make a million dollars. Danielle again says, if you’re not resonating with the I AM statements then change it to what you do know. “I know I am resourceful AF, I know I’ll always be okay, I know I can earn an amazing living.” You just start somewhere. Start recognizing your thoughts and being able to direct them.
Sometimes we have to fall back on past accomplishments to know we at least have the capacity for such and such. While we can’t let our past dictate our future, we can use it in a positive manner to confirm our wins and capabilities up to now at least.
When the negative thoughts come in, you will start to be able to filter them as garbage thoughts or productive thoughts. (Great note from my therapist.)
I learned a great lesson from Brooke Castillo of the Life Coach School, that thoughts come from your circumstances which are often neutral, but the way we twist them creates the pathway of believing they are TRUE, and then we spin into panic and tumult, coming up with all the ways that things COULD happen. Aren’t we creative with this stuff?!
Pay attention to the words you’re using and the thoughts tumbling around your brain. Start as an observer, neutral – without judgment and just watch what your thoughts do and where they take you.
Intentionality is everything and when you start to pay attention to your thoughts and the WORDS tumbling around in the dryer of your mind start to create those neurological pathways – it’s important what you’re focusing on and what words you are choosing to use day in and day out.
When you hear that negative thought – examine it. Is it true? (*Reference Byron Katie’s The Work – so magical) Listen to the stories and the lines you tell yourself on a daily basis that you’ve started to believe are just so, when in fact they are not.
Catch those garbage thoughts and throw them out. Change them around to a different and higher frequency. You don’t have to go from one extreme to another, but you can sure go from something like “I may not be 100% healthy right now, to “I have the ability to walk and talk and see and hear and I don’t have a fucking iron lung.” And start to see what is actually really true instead of what story you are making up.
It all matters.
Throw out those low vibe thoughts that “this is just how it is” or whatever.
Tell yourself “I choose to believe that life is always working in my favor.”
I don’t wake up in a blind panic anymore. I know that just as I can choose to believe that scarcity mindset or those negative thoughts. I can just as well choose to focus on another thought like, I’m so lucky that _____, or I’m the luckiest person I know. I’m so grateful for _____and sit in that space of gratitude.
When you focus on what’s going right in your life and what is good versus what is shitty, your mind magnifies it. Like Tony Robbins says What you focus on expands! So when you’re thinking, gosh, I’m so glad I have running water and a pair of shoes and a place to sleep that’s safe, your mind starts looking for more things!We always find what we’re looking for.
When you constantly say things that have a low vibration, you’re continuing that pattern and continuing to sit in that low frequency. And in that vibe, you will attract MORE of that same energy.
So stop saying, I can’t, and start saying you can. Or, it’s possible. Or even Maybe I can. Start thinking a good What IF? Instead of a doomsday what if. (Marie Forleo)
I learned a long time ago when I was a new mom to change the way I spoke to my son – Instead of saying Don’t run, to say “walking feet.” We all should have learned this in English class way back when but just in case, let’s do it now.
Instead of saying I don’t want xyz, I DO WANT xyz. I spent my late teens and early 20’s saying I don’t want to be a receptionist and felt that so strongly in my bones – that whole 9-5 M-F soul sucking thing was not for me and the last thing I wanted to do was answer phones and sit at a front desk. The thought of it was enough to make my skin crawl and my body shudder. But, guess what this girl ended up doing for years and years off and on and kept on circling back to? You guessed it – secretary/receptionist/admin. assistant that sat at the front. STILL. So while we are all a work in progress, pay attention to your words. They are shaping your beliefs and your life, and you can choose to up level your language at any time and keep upleveling.
Go get it. I believe in you.
With love and honey,
Buzz
Amazing! Thank you!