I’ve always sat on the fence, watching, observing. My Mormon sister used to tell me I was a fence sitter and she was right. In the Mormon church, it’s not a good thing to be a fence sitter – you’re not living your life the “right” way but not severing ties altogether I guess – and I’m sure most motivational speakers/businesspeople would say the same thing – get off the fucking fence, make a move, make a choice.
But that’s not how or why I’m a fence sitter.
I grew up watching and observing my older siblings. I was silent a lot, just taking everything in.
I knew that drugs were bad from school, but by watching, listening, observing from the figurative and sometimes literal fence, from my little perch, I learned that drugs could take a person and totally run them into the ground. Destroy a family. I watched my brother do just that. So I have no interest in drugs. At all. Any of them.
I watched my teenage sisters get super drunk at parties they threw at home when my mom was out and knew that wasn’t a great lifestyle either. I watched one sister almost become a burnout, and knew I needed to stay on my own path.
One of my favorite things before and still after Smartphones is to observe people when I am out and about. It fascinates me to watch people interact with each other.
I learned that words are powerful. That kids can be mean. That you needed to have credit and a car and get an education .
Sitting on the fence allows you a better vantage point at times. I am able to see when people need to be SEEN and validated.
Becuz I have been intentional with sitting on the fence and WATCHING people, I can tune into people. It’s a muscle I have worked out kinda hard. I can feel people’s energy and I can see what they are needing in that moment. Watching the human experience of others as well as obviously experiencing it myself has given me a gift of observation but also of being able to connect to people really fast.
I know about pain, about emotional pain and inner turmoil and how it affects your life and your mind and I have become really good at identifying it in other people as well.
So the next time you are out and about, or at a meeting, or gathering – be a fence sitter. Look around. Observe. See if you can tell what people’s stories are and what they’re struggling with. Get more tuned into who’s around you and what is going on.
It helps you pay attention, it helps you connect more. If you’re going to be in this life, be all in. Get your ass up on that fence and start observing.
Let me know what you find.
Love ya,
Buzz
